Rascal Flatts - Why - Every 40 Seconds Someone Asks ... Why?

Let it snow... NO MORE!

I love the snow. It's so beautiful ... when it first falls. The affects of the snow/weather is crazy. Living in a residence hall, being alone, and adjusting to life changes.. it can take a toll on someone. But add this crazy weather and you've got some issues haha.

I'm enjoying Boston. I'm seeing a lot, learning new things, and enjoying the "city" atmosphere. Getting ready to sell my car to save money since I walk pretty much every where or take the "T". Thing is... with this weather... expect wet socks, cold feet, and your boots to change color. Walking to lunch/dinner/grocery store ends up being a trudge through what you think is snow and ice but is really a lake of cold grossness.

Along with the beautiful scenery and river like conditions, there are wonderful snow days for school. Living in a residence hall, that means louder and crazier students. Although some of the stories are fun, it still gets annoying.

And this isn't adding to all the other problems already in my head! haha.

So, the beautiful weather is great but the side affects... sometimes not so fun! ;)

Missing!

So I don't know what's going on but I figured I could blog about how somedays we are missing who we are. We get so caught up in things that are not related to US but related to our morals and what we stand for. I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I have hypocritical days. I exaggerate situations with others. I piss people off. Everyone does those things.

But there's also the good side of me that I think I'm portraying as negative. I care. I care A LOT. And I think my caring comes off as annoying or as "too much". I love. I love HARD. So I get hurt too easy and think too much into situations. I give advice. I give advice TOO MUCH. And as an outsider to situations, I often feel that people only see what they CHOOSE to see and therefore I get aggravated. I don't think these are bad characteristics but when you take them as far as I do, they can for sure become negative.

My day will come when all of these will be positive again and appreciated. Right now, I'm not me. I'm not the person I was three months ago or a year ago. I'm more irritable, less trusting, and well... tougher to be around. THAT'S NOT ME! But we all have these phases I think. There are many times I couldn't STAND being around my BEST friends but, at the end of the day, that passes... in most cases.

So I'm not sure what I'm saying here besides the fact that I am missing inside. I will come back around one day and I will put all the pieces back together. What it will take, I don't know the specifics besides just time.

About Kevo... from a friend!

So, I'm back and better than ever. I want to dedicate this blog to the great things I have in my life. I used it previously to vent about the negative but the reality is that I have so much positive that I don't know where this past week of "down" came from for me.

I wanted to share some words from a letter I received from one of my best friends, Stephanie. Steph and I graduated college together back in the day ;) and we were inseparable. We were called "Kevanie" because we did everything together. We were both in CAB (Campus Activities Board, Peer Leaders, Cub Camp Directors, on some boards and focus groups together, and we lived on campus together. Basically, 99% of our days were spend together.

Steph was someone who also taught me about personal versus professional. We didn't always see eye to eye on "work" related things but when it came to our friendship, nothing was ever affected. We could argue all day about club stuff but our friendship was stronger and nothing would get in the way.

So, on to the letter... This letter was written in 2006 when we graduated college. Let's see how much has changed in 4 years. I put in red my response for now, 2011.

"I know you eat nothing of color

(still true! although I'm trying);

you love cherry coke, but Bud Light is your drink of choice

(still love cherry coke and BL but add Orange soda to it!);

you always get bar-b-que sauce when you order a burger and fries

(heck yea!);

you love children, especially babies and want your first child to be a boy

(twin boys!);

RENT is your favorite movies

(still love it and many more);

you hate to take bathroom breaks during a long drive

(true but this past trip I think I stopped at every rest stop! I'm getting old!);

your favorite colors are blue and green and you hate pink

(yes on faves but I no longer hate pink... PROGRESS!);

you always dress in layers

(of course still true);

you have an addiction to Abercrombie and can never have enough hoodies

(always and never!!!);

you always keep cologne in your car

(it's in there right now!);

you can't stand that in-between phase of your hair -

where it's too long to fix, but still too short to do anything with

(I always want long hair but it's never going to happen!);

you hate shots but could be the next Cabana Boy

(haaate shots, haven't had CB in YEARS!);

you are really hard to wake up in the morning,

but once you're awake you always have a smile on your face

(still tough getting up and not sure about the smile,

no one has woken me up in a LONG time!);

you don't "snore", you "breath heavy"

(pft of course I don't snore!);

you hate people who are fake and lie

(this will always be true!);

you love your friends and put forth so much effort into their lives,

impacting the lives you touch

(learning I do this too much sometimes... sorry to those who I frustrate!);

you are a person I can trust

(and I hope you know you still can today!);

you love to cuddle and must sleep with lots of pillows

(I have noticed I just love knowing someone is there

and right now I only have 2 pillows... went from 9 to 2!! Not good!);

you never have money, but who does

(I chose higher ed, this will never change lol);

you are an awesome judge of character

(it's getting blurrier as the years go on but I hope that I don't lose it);

you before anyone else, can usually figure out if someone is "true" or not

(yes, but it doesn't make it hurt any less);

you agree with me that Spanish is the devil

(five years of Spanish total and I can hardly speak a word of it!);

you want to travel

(oh how I have travelled! LOL);

you hate sleeping by the window

(it's scary!);

you hate the way I say "Gosh"

(I think I say it now!);

sometimes you sleep in socks and it grosses me out

(not anymore!);

you can never make a decision about where to eat

(I'm not good at that!!);

you're not a big Harry Potter fan and I can forgive you for that

(still haven't seen the movies or read the book!);

I can talk to you about anything and you won't judge me... usually

(still the same);

you love Kylee and Noah and were so excited that

Kylee actually liked you this past Christmas

(now there's Kylee, Noah, Kassidy, and Kourtney!

And now it's Kourtney that doesn't like me! lol);

you could not live without your cell phone and would

communicate in texts all the time if only everyone else would too

(the trend has picked up haha);

you're a slacker when it comes to classes (just like me)

(I don't have to do classes anymore yayyyyy);

you hate to read but are an awesome writer

(something I am working on... bought a few books I want to read);

you're not perfect and sometimes you need to be left alone.

(it's true)"

So that was a lot to read I know. But I thought you would like to know a little bit about me from a friends point of view. She ended the letter with...

"But you have been thrown several curve balls in life and you take life for what it is. You make each day count and learn from mistakes so that you don't make them again. You once told me your greatest fear is failure: you want to succeed and be true to yourself. I know you have so many ambitions in lief that it's hard to find a place to start and you don't know where you're going to end up, but you'll get there eventually. You'll take on every challenge along the path and you'll be successful. I know, because that is the person you are. It's scary to think about life after college. I mean, these have truly been the best years of your life. This is isn't the end though... it's on the beginning -- the beginning of so many wonderful adventure."

Some days I feel as though I have not lived up to what I could have gotten out of that day. Or I may not feel like I fully expressed myself to those who mean a lot to me. But I still don't feel as though I have failed in what I am trying to accomplish. My choices and advice may not be what people want to hear or see, I get that. But I hope that as long as I am considering all parties, including myself, and I am being honest... that's the best Kevin I can be. The most real Kevin I can be.

I love my friends for this exact reason. When I have a bad day or I need a "pick me up", I can not only call them or text or email, but I can also go back to the times when we were being crazy kids and look at where we are all at now and reminisce about the times we had spend together.

Thank you to Steph for writing this and I hope you approve for me to share it. Blame Jill, I'm using the don't ask permission beg forgiveness method that she taught me :) haha.